I’ve talked extensively with my family and them being divided with my decision has pushed me into taking more of an active role in my ultimate decision to have plastic surgery. I’ve decided that I really want to make sure that physical appearances do matter in giving people a “better life”. I’ve actually decided to do a study of my own. So based on a couple of beauty experiments I’ve seen I am going to test if attractiveness does really matter.
I’ve decided to go three days with my own style, meaning how I usually go about my days, and then I will spend another three days “dolled” up and doing the exact same activities. I want to see the reactions I get from the people I interact with. Will I get more attention when I am dolled up? or will I get the same treatment? I by no means am going to act any differently, but I will try to get away with getting some deals here or there. Depending on these results I will give further thought into surgery.
I know this might seem a little silly, but I feel it necessary. As of now I feel that a change will be very beneficial. I will try my best to carry myself with the same confidence in both states so that it isn’t much of a factor in my study. That means I need to do a lot of ‘pumping up’ for when I go about in my normal state. I need to feel confident then so I am thinking of having a weekend of in home pampering and cleansing. This should be fun!
I will keep you guys posted on my status. Who knows maybe this will provide me with the boast I need.
All the best,
I can’t even begin to express how helpful this community has been. Thank you to everyone who took the time to send me their thoughts, opinions, and experiences. I’ve received so much love from people who discourage the surgeries, as well as love from those who encourage the surgeries. At this point I am still weighing my options and taking in all the new information that you have provided. If I do decide to go for it I want to make sure that it is something that I definitely want to do and not something that I do because I wanted to do it in that instant.
I need to come clean here though. Honestly, I have always had a secret hate for my nose. The bridge of my nose has been abnormally high and, with taunts in elementary school of parrot nose or big nose, I’ve always had a bad image of myself. Once when I was 10 my mother caught me rubbing my nose with a nail file just to lower my bridge. Eventually she was able to get through to me and make me feel comfortable with who I am. Still now that I have more time to truly contemplate my situation I am starting to feel the need for a drastic change. I guess I need to regain that confidence I lost.
Through my blogging I have also found out about the lives of others. When some of my family members read my posts they immediately wanted to help and to my surprise I apparently know many friends and family members that have had surgery. Some had surgery simply for aesthetic reasons and others were forced into the situation due to health reasons. One of my closest friend revealed that she had had eye lid surgery. In her culture the double eye lid is considered a beautiful trait to have so she did it to have a better chance at finding love. She hasn’t found that love, but she does have more confidence in her appearance. Another acquaintance had a nose job because she hated her “Jewish nose” and said it changed her life for the better. She found a loving and caring boyfriend and is currently up for a promotion. Now I don’t necessarily think her surgery is responsible for her success because she confided that only a hand full of people knew. I don’t know if I can handle that kind of secrecy, but again the benefits do seem tempting.
Then there are my family members that have their own flaws and chose not to change their appearance because they were able to get beyond their body image. They were also very supportive and reminded me that I can progress and do wonderful things without surgery. So for now I am making a pros and cons list. As for all of you reading this thank you for your understanding and advice.
All the best,
After a couple of nights feeling sorry for myself and getting rejected from more job applications I started to truly consider my hideousness. My self-esteem hit the ultimate low. I basically had a serious melt down that included me weeping on my living room floor in the middle of the night. I couldn’t control my crying and simply started to pray. I prayed so fervently that I couldn’t quite keep my prayers straight, but I kept asking God or someone for an answer. I cried until I finally fell asleep.
I know this might sound over dramatic, but after being unemployed for such a long time and getting very little positive feed back I feel like there is very little room for me to progress. I finally told my family and friends how I was feeling and I got the usual “Don’t worry, it will work” or the “Why are you so depressed, don’t you know there are people who are way worse than you are?!”, and then one of my dearest friend mentioned a new study she saw on AOL.com. She noted how the article pointed out to a beautiful ratio. That it is proven that people prefer to see people who are symmetrical and have a 46% ratio of Face to eye separation. That means that there is an actual number assigned to a beautiful face. Needless to say I felt worse and she jokingly remarked “At this rate you probably want to get plastic surgery!” and laughed ahead of me, but it hit me. I’m depressed by the lack of jobs and the overemphasis on looks. I’ve always hated my nose and chin. I have some free time between job applications, so why not get some worked done on my face!
It was an off-hand comment, but it stayed with me the whole day. If looks are that important in the job market then this can only be categorized as an investment on myself. I have the training and I do have some money saved. I know I need to pay off my bills, but if by doing this plastic surgery I am able to land a job I will be able to pay back these bills. I know this isn’t a decision I should jump into so quickly so I will do some research and talk to people. If anyone knows any plastic surgeons or just someone who has had surgery please let me know. I would love any input.
All the best,
Okay, since my last post I started wondering if my suspicions had any validity. Are people (outside of the entertainment industry) hired on their looks? I started to do a little research and, to my utter disappointment, found many articles that show that looks matter in everything!
An article from Dateline NBC talked about the advantages that people have if they are considered beautiful. They did experiments that demonstrated the preferential treatment ‘models’ got over their average counter parts. After reading this the researcher in me just went at it. I found tons of articles that all state pretty faces do get treated better in every aspect of life that requires human interaction. In cases where people interacted with machines the results were the same, but once people were placed in front of each other appearances took control.
I found that beauty not only affects the hiring process, but beauty affects how much people are paid. Even for the same duties an aesthetically pleasing person will get more money! I guess I was too naive because after my research I called my co-workers from my first job in which my pay was slowly reduced and found that the female who was hired for my position is considered very beautiful, but again required a lot more training and was still hired at my starting salary. Thankfully she wasn’t a slacker and is doing a good job.
Still I can’t help feeling abused, hurt, and betrayed. Now my confidence is extremely low. If beauty is that much of an asset then how much more am I losing out on because of my appearance?
I really can’t believe that what I heard is correct! In this century I thought human beings would be more evolved than this. I mean, you might think me naive for thinking this way, but when did it become okay to hire solely on looks? Here I am having a really nice dinner with my fellow ex-colleagues and here they start telling me how my replacement needs extra training to do my job and is making a mess out of a lot of her so called responsibilities.
I was making peace with the fact that I was solely replaced, but how can it be that I was replaced with someone who is less qualified than me? That doesn’t make any sense. From what I gathered she wasn’t related to anyone in the company and she wasn’t “openly” dating anyone. Apparently, she was a graduate of some community college in New York and has “worked” her way up to my old position, and yet everyone is complaining about her work. She seems to lack the basic skills for the position and tends to slack off. I just don’t get it!
To make matters worse some of my colleagues thought that I was replaced because I wasn’t the right “look” for the job! Once I got past the initial hidden insult (the fact that I wasn’t pretty enough for my post) I was more shocked at the fact that my boss went with a ‘beauty’ that had no basic requirements than with someone who had experience and what I thought was decent looking. Can this be real?! I mean this is not a movie….are looks more important in business than I had originally thought? Is life really that shallow?
I’m going to soak in a bath of my tears now… :’-(
I spent a good part of the day just staring up at the trees in my local park. Of course they weren’t as beautiful as the cherry blossom trees pictured above, but it was still relaxing none the less. I’m sure people that passed me by thought I was a lost homeless girl or at least easily amused. I don’t know how I got to this point. No, that isn’t true…I know how, but I don’t exactly know why. One day I am a recent grad with a bright future at a prestigious publishing firm and the next I am out on the hunt for another job. It’s not like my job was a victim of the terrible economy; the company is doing well and actually hiring more people as I type.
I was basically slowly demoted without notice. I was told that my duties weren’t as extensive as they were before and so I was going to get a cut in my paycheck. Now as a recent grad in a different city from my hometown, this was not okay. I had to think about my student loans, rent, car insurance, and other expenses. I wondered if it was because I wasn’t producing quality work and asked if the company wasn’t pleased with my performance. All I got out of them was that I was “great” and that they really hoped I would stay on for a possible “raise” later. At this point I felt undervalued, but still appreciated the fact that they had offered me a job in the first place. I stayed for a while, but the pay wasn’t getting better and no matter how much I cut back on the spending it was still hard for me to make ends meet. So I looked for another job and was lucky enough to find one where I was offered my original salary. I gave my two weeks notice and even had the pleasure of receiving a wonderful letter of recommendation for the new job.
I loved my new job! It was everything I hoped for in college. Sure it was an assistant job, but I hoped to prove myself for the dream promotion :D. I was so happy with the crazy hours and demanding work environment, but I guess I must have not given my all or something because the next thing I know I was asked to assist a new assistant who would later go on to replace me. I don’t blame the girl, if she was doing a better job then I am glad she is working there, but again I suffered a lose in my paycheck. Again I was forced to look for a new job.
I am not expecting anyone to read this and honestly, that might be for the best. However, I am trying to understand how I came to this situation. I don’t know, I guess I feel that if I write something in a blog it might somehow allow me to express myself with someone other than myself. I don’t want to spend to much time on here so I don’t expect to with perfect grammar. I will continue to search for my career and I hope that anyone who is reading this, that is also in a similar situation, will find their dream career as well.
All the best